Thursday, 26 June 2008

Thought You Had It In You, But No...

For a moment, I lay there defeated. In that moment, you decided to keep your back turned. I can tell not whether it was complacency, or indifference. Nonetheless, it was clear you didn't see my roiling. Else, you would have claimed the spoils and moved on to your next battle. The truth, our truth, would have been lost, only to be replaced by some ugly incarnation of a "truth" too hideous to witness.

In that moment lays captured my greatest defiance. Defying God, time, "truth", you...I cast all away. In my defeat, I found the resolve to seize what I wanted, what I called mine, before it was mine to call mine.

There is so much talk of growing up. We grew up the hard way. We were given everything while we were growing up. And so, we've grown up ill-prepared. Without conviction to take what we want to. What we have to. And no one's giving us anything, not for anything. We are having to wrestle it out of the hands of the same mouths we would swear to feed, the backs we would claim to clothe, and cover in frigid winds. We pilfer from the maker's hand what hath been made, whether it be made for naught or another.

In my defeat, I grew. In my defeat, I found I had to take what I wanted. And so take I shall, be it for naught, or for another.

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