You don't need me. What is the point? You don't need any of this. You don't want any of this. So why do you carry on? I never understand, I never let go, I never care, I never try, so what's the point of it all to you? Not like you care to try, though. At least, it seems that way. All you want is for it to go away. But you never want to try and make it so that it goes away. So it never comes back. Dust under rug swept is still dust. Just as indifference behind i-love-yous are indifference.
I'll say it again. You don't need me. You don't need any of this. You don't want any of this. So what's the point? Why don't you find someone who makes you feel like there is a point. That there is desire. That there is a colossal yearning, a monstrosity consuming everything else in its wake in the process of overwhelming the entirety of your remaining existence. Someone who you won't "forget", someone who you won't be able to "forget". Someone who will become a part of you, someone who you can really latch on to and never let go. So what if the others will disapprove? This is your life. Not theirs. Your issues. Not theirs. Your desires. Not theirs. So do what you will, do what you want. My bruised cage will eventually breathe easy.
For who am I, to need you when I am down?
But where were you, when I needed you around?
Who am I to need you now? To ask you why, to tell you how? To deserve your love and your sympathy?
Maybe, just maybe...You were never meant to belong to me.
It is such a tortuous feeling. To want something, and feel like you don't deserve it. To have something when you know you don't deserve it. And your conscience is only too glad to remind you so. Quiet nights are spent wrangling fingers together, trying to instill some tension, some feeling, into the things we take for granted. And it is such a deathly feeling, knowing that what you are trying to accomplish, only one other person can do for you. And you don't have the right to have that person do it for you.
There's just so many things...
I'll say it again. You don't need me. You don't need any of this. You don't want any of this. So what's the point? Why don't you find someone who makes you feel like there is a point. That there is desire. That there is a colossal yearning, a monstrosity consuming everything else in its wake in the process of overwhelming the entirety of your remaining existence. Someone who you won't "forget", someone who you won't be able to "forget". Someone who will become a part of you, someone who you can really latch on to and never let go. So what if the others will disapprove? This is your life. Not theirs. Your issues. Not theirs. Your desires. Not theirs. So do what you will, do what you want. My bruised cage will eventually breathe easy.
For who am I, to need you when I am down?
But where were you, when I needed you around?
Who am I to need you now? To ask you why, to tell you how? To deserve your love and your sympathy?
Maybe, just maybe...You were never meant to belong to me.
It is such a tortuous feeling. To want something, and feel like you don't deserve it. To have something when you know you don't deserve it. And your conscience is only too glad to remind you so. Quiet nights are spent wrangling fingers together, trying to instill some tension, some feeling, into the things we take for granted. And it is such a deathly feeling, knowing that what you are trying to accomplish, only one other person can do for you. And you don't have the right to have that person do it for you.
There's just so many things...
1 comment:
"And it is such a deathly feeling, knowing that what you are trying to accomplish, only one other person can do for you. And you don't have the right to have that person do it for you."
I absolutely loathe that feeling. Loathe the utter helplessness of it. Loathe.
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